When planning your wedding day timeline, there’s one decision that might catch you by surprise: first look vs. first touch. While many couples are familiar with the concept of a first look, fewer know about the beautiful alternative known as the first touch, an emotional, intimate moment that blends tradition with intentional connection.

As a boston wedding photographer that loves to blend a documentary and editorial approach, the first touch is a perfect moment to freeze time and chase raw emotion. I, also, frequently put on a wedding planner hat when it comes to building out the perfect timeline for my couples. This gives me unique perspective on the first look, so I’m going to give you the scoop on a quiet moment that’s gaining popularity with couples across the world; the first touch.

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What’s a First Touch?

A first touch is a private moment between the couple that happens before the ceremony. It’s a time where couples get a moment alone but do not see each other. Many couples choose to hold hands, share their vows, exchange gifts, pray or simply just take a moment together. It’s an opportunity for a couple to calm each other’s nerves, all while preserving the tradition of not seeing each other before walking down the aisle. By contrast, a first look involves seeing each other fully dressed before the ceremony.

Benefits of doing a First Touch

1. Preserves Tradition with a Personal Twist

If you’re the kind of couple who values the emotional impact of seeing each other for the first time at the altar, then a first touch allows you to hold onto that tradition while still sharing a deeply meaningful pre-ceremony moment. Often, couples who subscribe to a religious faith choose to do a first touch as it preserve the religious tradition of not seeing your spouse before the ceremony. You don’t have to be religious to do a first touch, however, as many couples opt to do a first touch for several reasons laid out below.

2. Reduces Nerves Without Breaking the Surprise

Wedding days are emotional. There’s anticipation, apprehension, nervousness, excitement and joy all at the same time. Sometimes, though, with the whirlwind of emotions, it’s difficult to stay present. A first touch gives you the chance to hear each other’s voices, maybe even laugh or cry together. You’ll feel each other’s hand, and find security in the assurance at the symbolism of your person always being there. Often, it’s a time where you ground your emotions and calm the pre-ceremony jitters. All without giving away the visual reveal. Cue blubbering messes as you two walk down the aisle and witness each other for the first time.

3. A Quiet Pause in a Busy Day

Weddings move fast. A first touch is a built-in moment of stillness. With a well planned timeline, a first time provides a pause where time slows down and the only thing that matters is the person on the other side of that door. No longer do you need to worry about if the ceremony is all set up, or if hair and make up did well. Your mind ceases to jump to the next time, because the b best thing is right next to you, holding your hand.

4. Perfect Moment for Prayer or Vows

For faith-based couples or those writing personal vows, a first touch is the ideal setting. You can pray together, read letters, gossip about how your morning went or whisper private promises to one another. This all happens without the pressure of you being front and center.

5. Creates a Powerful Photo Opportunity

Selfishly, the first look is incredible moment I love captured. From my lens, I always find them magical. The emotions in the hands, the tension in body language, the anticipation. It’s an art of noticing and feels so cinematic. These images often become favorites in couples’ wedding albums as they radiate real feeling and raw emotions.

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Tips & Tricks

For a Successful First Look

1. Choose the Right Location
   A doorway, corner wall, or large tree work well. Ensure it offers privacy and prevents peeking. Typically I will scout a location that will provide an aesthetic look as well as proper lighting. Your wedding planner can also be a good resource to finding a location.
   
2. Communicate with Your Photographer and Planner
   Make sure your vendors know what kind of moment you want. Do you want it be quiet, emotional, joyful, spiritual? Photographers and Planners are key in managing the setup and timing, so you’re not rushed or disturbed.
   
3. Consider Writing Letters
   Reading letters aloud during your first touch can add a deeply personal, tear-jerking element. If you’re like me, emotions come easier articulated when I write it down. It’s especially meaningful if you want to exchange private vows before the public ceremony.
   
4. Have Tissues Ready
   Even the most composed couples get emotional during a first touch. Ask your best people to keep tissues nearby! If one of you is wearing a suit, then there’s always the handkerchief or pocket square as an option.
   
5. Time it Right
   Schedule your first touch shortly before the ceremony, but allow a buffer. You’ll want to feel unrushed, present, and fully immersed in the moment. Guests usually arrive 30 minutes prior to the ceremony, so I like to make sure first touches occur before guests arrive. This saves you from peeping toms. Utilizing your wedding party to keep a perimeter helps maintain privacy.

Check out the Instagram Post: B+E’s First Touch

What to Watch Out For

• Avoid Overcrowded Spots
  Keep the space free of guests or venue staff to protect your privacy and the intimacy of the moment.

• Mind the Dress
  Make sure there’s no risk of the dress being seen accidentally. Assign someone (a planner or wedding party) to help guide the couple if the space is tight.

• Stay Grounded
  It’s easy to get overwhelmed by emotions. Remember to breathe, stay in the moment, and let go of any expectations about how it “should” go.

A first touch offers the emotional depth of a first look without the visual reveal. It makes it ideal for couples who want both connection and tradition. It not only anchors your timeline but it’s a cherished moment full of raw, intimate energy. So if you’re on the fence about a first look, consider the first touch instead. It might be exactly the moment your wedding day needs.

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